[SECRET MATCH]

In the main area of the back, several fighters cogitated and moved through the populated area, but in a far corner, one man was largely ignored (And I mean large). 

The man who calls himself the Big Show stood seven feet tall and weighed approximately 500 pounds.  Wearing only a wrestling unitard and black boots gave him the appearance of a massive cave man with a buzz cut and handlebar moustache.

The barrel-chested Big Show chuckled as he watched a viewing monitor and hoped they'd show just one more instant replay of the previous Bra and Panties Match.  Big Show had been greatly enjoying himself until a meaty hand clapped down on his shoulder.

Big Show turned around to find a man slightly shorter than him, yet no less well muscled.  Indeed, the man looked as if he definitely had more muscles than brains (Or the entire state of Georgia for that matter).  A grizzled beard and mohawk adorned his head while red wrestling trunks, boots, and armbands, lined with yellow adorned the rest of him.

''Are you being the one they are calling 'Big Show'?''  The enormous, hairy, scar-covered man asked in a thick Russian accent.

''Yeah,'' Big Show yawned.  ''What about it?''

''I am Zangief!''  The Russian announced.  ''The Red Cyclone!  The Russian Czar of Wrestling!  And no one is to be a bigger wrestling star!''

''Listen, little fella,'' Big Show condescended.  ''You better settle down before I decide to put you down.''

''Oh-ho!''  Zangief laughed, flexing his enormous arms.  ''You want to get some roughsy-toughsy?''

''No,'' Big Show snapped.  ''I want you to go away.''

''That is being too bad,'' Zangief said before connecting to Big Show's jaw with whopping right hand.  ''I wanting to fight!''

''You--!''  Big Show growled before retaliating with a clothesline.  ''GGGRRRAAAHHHH!!!''

Zangief recovered and charged into the other giant, carrying their substantial mass into a pile of crates.  The crates exploded, but the two colossal combatants continued to fight throughout the backstage.   As the Gargantuan grapplers battled further on, the other fighters did all they could to get out of the way of the titanic tussle.

* * * * *

''What was that all about?''  Daffy asked no one in particular (Which was good, because no one answered).

''This next match is gonna be another one held Off-Site!''  Hiroshi cheered.  ''And not just because these four guys are powerful.''

''Yeah,'' Daffy added.  ''It's also because we don't even want these guys in the building!''

''That's right,'' J. R. agreed.  ''The fighters in this next match are four of the biggest bad guys you'd never want to meet in a dark alley!''

''Definite naughty list types,'' April agreed.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, three maintenance men were busy replacing the charred ring post.

A man with a crew cut and a large potbelly was busy taking the smoldering metal out of its post, failing to notice it sizzle in his grasp.

''Hey!  What's cookin'?''  He asked while sniffing the air, taking a few seconds to realize it was actually him.  ''Owww!!!  Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-owoo!!!''

''Hey, Numbskull!  Quit clownin' and gimme that ring post!''  The angry man with the dark bowl cut standing at ringside got his wish, only to feel his own hands burning as well before he dropped the heavy ring post... ''Wooooo!!!  Hot-hot-hot-hot-hot!!!''

...Right onto his foot.

''Yahhh!!!''  He yelled while hopping on one foot, holding the injured one in his burned hands.

''Hey!''  A third man with a balding mess of tangled orange hair asked his friend.  ''Are you okay?''

''What'da you think?''  The other snapped before slapping him in the face.

''Hopefully we'll have the ring fixed before we need it for the next match,'' Daisuke drawled, watching the idiots on the other side of the ring carelessly injure each other.

''We now take you to deepest, darkest Africa, to a remote location in the Congo for our next exciting match-up!''  J.R. said.

* * * * *

[DR. DOOM]

[VS.]

[M. BISON]

[VS.]

[PROMETHEUS]

[VS.]

[SEPHIROTH]

[*DING!*]

The lush jungle surrounded the crumbling stone temple like a blanket of living green.  Vines crept around the pillars, walls, and pedestals that were long ago abandoned by an ancient and forgotten civilization.

Outside the temple, the sounds of life echoed throughout the dense foliage.  Beautiful birds sang with voices as bright as their colors.  Monkeys called to each other in a silly chattering tone.  Insects buzzed through the air in a busy dance.  But overall, the noises of unseen predators filled the air.  Savage beasts, that ruled a land where the average man rightfully feared to tread, growled and proclaimed dominance over their territory.

In an instant, it all fell silent.

In the center of the ancient temple, the air itself rippled with power and a single black feather floated to the ground.

A tall, black-clad figure landed delicately on the stone ground and folded his single black wing behind his right shoulder.

''Sephiroth,'' Daisuke introduced the powerful being.  ''This former SOLDIER commander is a powerful magic user, a military and strategic genius, an excellent fighter, and a master swordsman wielding the impressive Masamune sword.''

''That's right!''  Hiroshi sang.  ''He's a bad mamma-jamma!''

''Suuure he is,'' Daffy sarcastically slurred then turned to April and spun his index finger around the side of his head.

The long, silver-haired bishounen, wearing an open-chested black leather overcoat with blood red trim, placed his hand on the hilt of his ridiculously long sword and surveyed the battleground.

''I know you are there,'' Sephiroth stated seemingly to no one.  ''Why don't you come out so we may end this farce.''

''My, my, my,'' Another fearsome figure said as he stepped out from behind a stone pillar.  ''Aren't you the drama queen?''

''Who's that freak?'' Daffy asked rudely.

''Prometheus may be a new face on the villain's scene,'' April explained.  ''But he's already made a big waves by, single-handedly, nearly taking out the entire Justice League in their own Watchtower on the moon!''

The man known only as Prometheus wore a black body suit with  brass-colored metal gauntlets, foot guards with large studs, a metal belt, and shoulder armor. He also wore a flashy white cape that draped around his chest and down his back.   In his purple-gloved hands, he held a technological marvel disguised as a heavy nightstick.

But one object stood out even from the rest of Prometheus' outlandish costume.   An odd purple helmet that seemed like a mix between a one worn by a medieval knight and a futuristic football player, with a slitted silver visor over clear blue Plexiglas shielding and sparking electronic exhaust pipes and a multiple variety of lights on each side.

Suddenly an explosion of plasma energy tore through a once mighty stone wall on the far side of the temple clearing drew the attention of the other two fighters. 

''Posture all you wish, Fools,'' A new challenger said as he marched proudly through the dust and debris of the former stonewall.  ''For neither of you shall prove yourselves worthy of fighting DOOM!''

''It isn't--!''  J.R. stammered.  ''It can't be!''

''It is,'' Daisuke said flatly.  ''Victor Von Doom; Evil monarch of the small European nation of Latveria.''

''Dr. Doom is a malevolent dictator with aspirations of total world domination, an ego larger than his dreams, and the brains and power to back it up!''  Hiroshi exclaimed.

Dr. Doom wore his classic powerful suit of faux-medieval silver armor, shrouded by a green hooded tunic and flowing green cape.  A large gold ''D'' adorned the black leather belt around his waist.  He also wore a fearsome metal mask to cover his hideously scarred face.  His piercing blue eyes were the only human thing visible, and even they did not appear very humane.  Although the armor appeared simple, it was laced with some of the most powerful technology and weaponry imaginable.

''Face facts, gentlemen,'' The fourth and final evil fighter said as he dramatically floated down from the sky, his massive arms crossed over his even bigger chest.  ''None of you are a match for my Psycho Power!''

''BISON!''  Hiroshi shouted with a rage he wasn't aware he had.

''M. Bison,'' April also stated with some measure of disgust.  ''Head of the terrorist organization, Shadaloo.''

''Even I've heard of this guy,'' King admitted.  ''This guy's so evil he ruins lives as a hobby!  He can't rest easy at night unless he knows someone else is miserable.''

The black cape of the Shadaloo boss fluttered around his blood red false military officer uniform as he floated to the ground in front of his enemies.  Bison's cold dead eyes gleamed from under his red officer's cap, almost as bright as his wide false smile.  Metal pads guarded his wrists, shins, feet, and shoulders as the only armor on his uniform.

''Preposterous!''  The armored Monarch of Latveria scoffed.  ''None shall defeat the power of DOOM!''

''How do you do that?''  Prometheus questioned the bad Doctor.

''Do what?''  Doom responded.

''Talk in all capitols like that?''

''Silence, worm!''

''Make me, Mama's Boy!''

''You are not fit to speak of Doom's mother!''

''Enough!''  Sephiroth shouted as he drew his extensive sword and swiped at all three of his foes in one smooth motion.  He missed, and three pieces of cloth fluttered to the ground, colored black, green, and white.

''And the fight officially starts with Sephiroth taking a swipe at all three of his opponents!''  April shouted.

''Too bad he missed,'' Hiroshi drawled.  ''The world could be down three big bad super-bullies.''

With the fight officially underway, the insults and barbs had ended and the real fighting began.  Bison attacked Sephiroth head on, ducking under another swing from Masamune and delivering a devastating uppercut, while Prometheus squared-off with Dr. Doom.

''I want you to know I'm a big fan,'' Prometheus said to the evil despot.  ''But it's still going to be fun kicking your ass!''

''Enjoy your delusions,'' Doom said to the crooked super criminal.  ''You cannot defeat the brilliance of Doom!''

''I'm sure I can think of something,'' Prometheus said as he took a heavy swing at Doom's head with his nightstick.

''Pathetic,'' Scoffed as he grabbed the attacking weapon without even flinching.

''Yes,'' Prometheus smiled.  ''You are.''

Massive amounts of electricity burst from the nightstick a surprised Doom held in his hand and coursed into his armor, instantly rendering him as stiff as a board. 

''Whoa!''  King asked.  ''What happened to Dr. Doom?''

''What'd Prometheus just do?!?''  Daffy shouted.

''Prometheus' power is not his strength,'' Daisuke explained.  ''But his brilliant ability to take advantage of his opponent's weakness.''

''In case you’re wondering,'' Prometheus gloated as he yanked his nightstick out of Doom's frozen grip.  ''My nightstick was programmed to release a virus to take control of  your armor and leave you little more than an occupied museum piece.  Who's the genius now, Euro-trash?''

The sounds of battle drew Prometheus' attention skyward, where Bison and Sephiroth were still engaged in combat.

''Of course,'' Prometheus mentioned casually as Doom unwillingly lifted his hands toward the sky bound fighters.  ''I can always make you do something else to benefit me in this little melee.''

Twin plasma blasts shot from Doom's hands and struck Sephiroth directly in the back.

The unsuspecting Son of Jenova grunted in pain as the sudden sneak attack burned his back and sent him tumbling through the air.  When he regained his balance, he turned to the ground to find Doom's evil glare and smoking hands.

''He did it!''  Prometheus tattled and pointed to the helplessly inanimate despot.

Sephiroth aimed his Masamune and began a power dive toward his grounded attacker.

Prometheus silently slipped a CD into the side of his helmet, which began to whir and spark.  As Sephiroth approached, he swung the Masamune at both of his enemies on the ground.  However, the sword of the One Winged Angel struck only air as Prometheus disappeared in a purple flash, and then was blocked by a light blue barrier surrounding the inert, chanting Dr. Doom.

M. Bison watched from above as the scene played out before him.  His amused smile remained even after Prometheus reappeared beside him.

''An interesting trick,'' Bison snickered without even moving his head.  ''Considering my preliminary scans showed that you have no actual power.''

''Looks can be deceiving,'' Prometheus quipped.  ''I can do a lot more than just teleport.''

''Indeed?''  Bison pondered.  ''And how much can you do?''

''Anything you can do,'' Prometheus smiled as his helmet began to whir and spark once more.  ''I can do better.  PSYCHO CRUSHER!''

Bison lost his wide smile as Prometheus barrel-rolled towards him at blinding speed, glowing with evil purple energy.  Bison merely sidestepped his own move by teleporting backwards.

''Not bad,'' Bison smiled again.  ''But let me show you how it's done.''

''How'd Prometheus do that?!?''  Hiroshi yelled.  ''He doesn't have Psycho Power!!!''

''It looks like it has to do with his helmet,'' April observed.

''Precisely, April,'' Daisuke confirmed.  ''Prometheus' helmet allows him to copy learned powers from other fighters, including martial arts, mental, and magic disciplines.''

''And that's a bad thing, right?'' King asked.

''Yes, Jerry,'' Daffy snarked.  ''I'd say a psychotic supervillain, with a mad-on of for law and order, having the ability to use any magic or martial arts attack all other heroes and villains use would fit nicely into the BAD THINGS CATAGORY!!!''

''Just asking,'' King muttered.  ''Geez.''

''That mystic shield cannot save you forever, Doom,'' Sephiroth said as he pelted the protective barrier with several meteorites that suddenly orbited around him.

''It does not have to withstand forever,'' Dr. Doom stated evenly before exploding out from behind his mystic shield and clobbering Sephiroth with an armored right cross.  ''Just long enough for my armor to purge that fool's virus!''

The dark meteors around Sephiroth disappeared and he used the Masamune to quickly block a volley of plasma blasts from Doom. 

The rockets from Dooms armor propelled him forward and right into the One Winged Angel, who retaliated with a fire spell to Doom's face. 

The rocket-powered melee of attacks carried the two combatants skyward, until their fight inevitably interceded with the psycho powered battle between Bison and Prometheus, who gladly welcomed them into the foray.  That is, until Bison had an evil epiphany.

''STOP,'' Bison not so much shouted as suddenly commanded.

The others paused not out of fear or even respect, but merely curiosity.

''What happened?''  Hiroshi asked.  ''What did Bison do?''

''I don't know,'' Jim Ross hushed.  ''But I don't like it.''

''Gentlemen,'' Bison addressed his companions.  ''Why are we fighting like animals, when together we can slaughter the lambs and cattle of the world!  Armies will fall before us!  Cities will burn!  What do you say?''

There was a moment of uneasy silence.  Then…

''Sounds like fun,'' Prometheus said with a twisted smile.

''Yes,'' Doom concurred.  ''Together, we could destroy all opposition (Especially that accursed Richards!), and deal among ourselves later.''

''Agreed,'' Sephiroth said, missing the increasing whistle of a high-speed object breaking the sound barrier.

Prometheus saw only a flash of red and blue before Dr. Doom was suddenly tossed into the distance.  Another primary colored blur carried of M. Bison, and yet another sent Sephiroth hurtling into the foliage below. 

However, Prometheus didn't see anything before he felt it hammer into his face, nearly breaking his jaw.  The blow knocked his helmet from his head, erasing his powers and sending him hurtling to the ground.

Instead of becoming a greasy smear on the jungle floor, the super criminal felt something grab him by the scuff of his cape and slow his rate of descent.

Long before the time the thing let him go, by unceremoniously dropping him the final few feet to the ground, Prometheus knew exactly who hit him.

''Well, well, well.  If it isn't my favorite caped fascist,'' Prometheus sneered, his insane eyes glaring from under wild white hair at the figure that landed gently in front of him.

''You're not getting away this time Prometheus,'' The powerful figure promised.  ''You and your new friends have a lot to answer for.''

The insignia.  The red and yellow pentagonal ''S'' shield.  That's the first clear thing everyone notices.  It's also the sight that created a new meaning for the word ''loud'' as the audience cheered wildly when it appeared on the chest of a man known as one of the greatest heroes in the universe. 

''It's Superman!!!''  Hiroshi shouted above the awesome din in response to the image on the arena's giant television screen. 

The blue costume, the red cape, the red underwear worn on the outside.  There was no mistaking the impressive figure of one of the world's most well known superheroes.

''Really?''  Prometheus laughed.  ''I'd like to see you tell them that.''

''Fine,'' Superman said, using his hyper-senses to determine which would arrive first.  ''I will.''

Superman then turned to greet none other than Dr. Doom as he descended from the sky.

''Doom recalls meeting you before,'' Doom contemplated as the rockets in his boots took him in for a soft landing directly in front of Superman.

''I remember you too,'' Superman replied.  '''Doom,' right?''

''Dr. Doom,'' The tyrant corrected.  ''But one day you will call me Lord and Master.''

''Riiight,'' Superman said with a derisive smirk.

''You doubt the power of DOOM?!?''  The tyrant bellowed.  ''Than DIE!!!''

Von Doom released a cascade of power at the offending hero. 

As the plasma blast struck, Superman stood firm.  In fact, he took a step forward.  Doom increased the flow, but Superman continued to fight forward, step by step. 

''Inconceivable!''  Doom shouted as Superman continued to wade through his powerful attack.  As the Man of Steel drew ever closer, even the evil dictator's armor could no longer withstand the backlash.

Doom ceased his attack when all he could see was the insignia on Superman's chest.

''Very well,'' The evil monarch said, while glaring hatefully at the Man of Steel.  ''Doom has decided to spare you this day, but be warned:  Doom will not be so benevolent next time we meet.''

''You're too kind,'' Superman stated flatly, knowing full well Doom's threat was not to be taken lightly.

Doom growled under his breath as his technology teleported him away in a flash of blue light.

''And Superman takes both Prometheus and Dr. Doom out of the match!''  J.R. shouted.  ''And that's a good--LOOK OUT!!!''

Good thing he didn't use any magic, Superman thought to himself.  However, Kal-El's train of thought was soon derailed when a massive force slammed into him from behind.

''PSYCHO CRUSHER!''

''And Bison attacks Superman from behind!''  Hiroshi seethed in disgust.

''And we're supposed to be surprised?''  Daisuke asked sarcastically.

''Ow,'' Superman grunted as he recovered from the sneak attack.  ''Not bad.''

''I can do much more than that,'' Bison bragged.

''I'm here to make sure you don't,'' Superman said flatly.

''Try,'' Bison dared, smiling widely.

''Gladly,'' Superman said as he reached for the twisted terrorist, only to grab a handful of thin air.

''What the--?''  Hiroshi gasped.

''Bison may be harder to catch than Superman thought,'' April said with a hint of worry in her voice.

''A lot harder,'' Daisuke confessed.  ''Besides teleporting, Bison also has mastery over evil psychic powers.  Supes is gonna have to watch out for this one.''

Indeed, at that very moment, Bison has lead Superman back into the sky and weaved in and out of space, moving too fast to follow or simply teleporting, and dodging Superman's grasp.   As the Man of Steel attempted to grab the grinning madman, he found himself clutching the side of his head and struggling to concentrate.

''Fight it all you wish, Superman,'' Bison laughed with a malicious purple gleam in his eyes.  ''It will only make my victory all the sweeter.''

''I...Don't...THINK SO!!!''  The Kryptonian grunted as he barely managed to deflect the mental assault.

''WHAT?!?''  Bison raged as the purple light died in his eyes.  ''HOW?!?''

''Let's just say I've known a few telepaths in my time,'' Superman smirked, breathing heavily from his narrow escape.  I seriously owe J'onn an extra large pack of Chocos when I get back to the Watchtower.

Superman reached for Bison once again, and again Bison dodged at blinding speed...right into a fist of solid steel.

''You're fast,'' Kal-El said, grabbing Bison by the collar of his uniform and pulling the psycho terrorist up close.  ''But not fast enough.''

Out of the corner of his eye, Superman caught sight of the final one's dangerous advance.  Reacting just in time, Superman dodged the downward strike from Masamune and pushed Bison out of harm's way at the same time.

Superman turned to his new attacker as a purple aura surrounded M. Bison, who disappeared leaving only mocking laughter echoing through the jungle below.

''That was a pretty cheap shot,'' Superman griped, indicating the attacker's disregard for even Bison's life.

''I am above such foolish notions as honor and trust,'' Sephiroth answered flatly.

''Are you above unconditional surrender?''  The Kryptonian returned in the same rather blasé manner.  ''If not, I'd consider it.''

''Laugh while you can, Hero,'' Sephiroth said, spitting out the last word like it was fetid meat.  ''I will destroy you and all other insignificant ants who stand in the way of my destiny.''

''You talk way too much,'' The hero smirked and shook his head.  ''Are you going to try to destroy me or not?''

''Very well,'' Sephiroth agreed before sending a volley of blue spheres at Superman, each trailing a luminous tail and violently exploding on impact.

Instantly, the Man of Steel was enveloped in a ball of flame.  The One-Winged Angel wasted no time in pressing his attack and rushed forward, his sword raised to cleave anything still alive in the inferno.

Masamune sunk into the flames and stuck into something solid.  Too solid.  When the flames vanished, Superman stood tall.  He held the long blade of Sephiroth's sword in-between the palms of his hands and looked none the worse for wear (Except that his cape had been burned completely off).  Superman wrenched the sword out of Sephiroth's hands and dropped it into the jungle below, then kicked the villain in the gut, just for good measure.

''You do not know who you are dealing with,'' Sephiroth grimaced and clutched his stomach in dire pain.

''I know exactly who I'm dealing with,'' Superman answered, accentuating each response with a devastating punch.  ''You're an egomaniac...''

*POW!*

''...an arrogant madman...''

*CRACK!*

''...and a murderer!''

*KA-POW!!!*

And the One-Winged Angel fell to Earth.  Hard.

Sephiroth looked up from the ground and found his precious Masamune almost within arm's reach.  He scrambled to reach his sword, but was halted by a beam of red energy from above that scorched the ground between them.

Sephiroth stared up to a sight that could only inspire awe and fear in any lesser being. 

Superman hovered a few feet above him, eyes glowing red like the very essence of anger with a deep scowl to match.

''Go ahead,'' Superman demanded.  ''Pick it up...then leave.  Now.''

Utterly humbled, but refusing to let it show, of course, Sephiroth picked up the Masamune, sheathed it, and slowly stood up.  Sephiroth glowered at the superhero with Mako eyes of pure hatred and malice, but a small smile on his face.

''We will finish this another time,'' Sephiroth stated calmly.

''I'll be waiting,'' Superman replied in the same tone and let his eyes return to their normal hue.

''Well,'' Prometheus said from his resting place not twenty feet away.  ''This party's gotten pretty dull.  Time for last call.''

Superman turned to see the last villain fade away in a flash of white, leaving the Man of Steel standing in a mile-wide, charred and broken jungle clearing that hadn't existed even ten minutes ago.

* * * * *

''SUPERMAN SAVES THE DAY AGAIN!!!''  An overjoyed Hiroshi screamed to the masses.

''After an amazing match, Superman stopped all four Major League villains from joining forces and destroying the world!''  J.R. cheered.

''Didn't Superman actually stop the match,'' Daffy asked.  ''And since when were they going to destroy the world?  That just doesn't make sense!''

''Better than having to deal with all four of those psychos working together to kill us,'' April answered.

'''That's true.''

''We'll be right back.''

* * * * *

The crowd's cheering was just about to die down when the giant screen showed the image of a short, bald man in an orange training gi watching the ending  of the previous match on a monitor in the back.  And that cheering more than doubled when the camera view widened to reveal the taller man in the same style gi with wild spiky black hair.

''Krillin!''  Son Goku said, staring at the screen in awe.  ''Did you see that?  That was amazing!''

''Yup,'' Krillin agreed flatly.  ''Well, he is Superman after all.''

''Yeah!''  Goku shouted in joy.  ''And I get to fight him!''

''About that...'' Krillin began.

''What?''  Goku asked, smiling quizzically at his best friend.  ''You don't think I can beat him?''

 ''N-no!  It's not that!''  Krillin blanched.  ''I know you'll do awesome!  It'll be a great fight!''

''Then what?'' 

''It's just that something bad always happens whenever you fight in a tournament or something,'' Krillin said.  ''It's like, the bigger the fight, the bigger the trouble.  And it sure doesn't get any bigger than this.''

''I know,'' Goku agreed with a sly smile.  ''But we always take care of it and come out on top.''

''I guess,'' Krillin sighed, ever the pessimist.

''Relax, Krillin,'' Goku laughed and looked at the screen again to see Superman finish taking out the trash.

''OH BOY!!!''  The Saiyan gushed.  ''THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!!!''

''I hope you're right,'' Krillin muttered.  ''Or we are going to be in serious trouble.''

_-_-_-_-_

''I wondered when he'd show up,'' A tall white haired man in a gray business suit said. 

''Supes always comes around to spoil our fun, Dale,'' His twin sister pouted.  ''Why should this time be any different?''

The woman was similarly dressed in a gray business suit.  One trait the twins shared was a wavy cowlick in their white hair, despite their apparent age being in their mid-thirties.

''But this time, Doloris,'' A third man, a dark, caped figure, said cheerfully.  ''His appearance fits right into our plans!  By the way, I love your recent make-over.''

''Thanks,'' The mischievous twins said in unison.  ''We like ourselves better this way too.''

The third figure walked across the dark room, passing a fourth and final person battered and tied to a chair.  The figure's purple Prince Valiant haircut and caped cloak flowed behind him as he walked, tapping his knarled wooden staff topped with a red orb on the floor as he went.

''And I must say,'' The being with a wide smile said as he opened the blinds of the skybox to peer out at the screaming crowd of the EMW arena.  ''This plan is going quite smoothly.  And it's all thanks to our little Access here.''

Axel Asher looked up from his place in the chair,  his face covered in cuts and bruises and his light brown crew cut flaked with dried blood.  His strange costume, a red and blue mix between street cloths and space age armor, was torn and soaked in red, sticky liquid.

''Yeah,'' Dale laughed.  ''Thanks to your lousy gate keeping, we were been able to put together this little shindig.''

''This whole 'Crossover the Multiple Universes' bit is a hoot, ain't it?,'' Doloris said, plopping herself down on the armrest of their captive's chair.

''W-why?''  Access muttered through a mouth full of broken teeth and blood.

''Sore wa, himitsu desu,'' The enigmatic demon answered in Japanese, opening only one eye and waging a disapproving finger at the beaten young man.

''What does that mean?''  Doloris asked, actually knowing the answer (She's can speak and understand every language in the known universe and beyond after all).

''That...is a secret,'' Dale answered.

''Aww, c'mon!  Tell me what it means!''  Doloris pretended to beg.

''Good one,'' The Trickster Priest lied while as a comical sweat drop hung from his head.

''Thanks,'' Dale said.  ''Language comedy and culture shock are always funny!  Just like reality television!''

''Are you sure we can't interest you in a set of Encyclopedia Universal?''  Doloris asked as she jumped off the armrest to look directly at her captive audience.  ''You can find anything in these!  Anything you want to know about?''

''Screw...you...''  Came Access's strained reply.

''You wish,'' Doloris smiled seductively before slapping Axel in the face.

''I think that's in there actually,'' Dale said, flipping through one of Encyclopedia Universal's many hefty volumes.  '''Can it', 'Don't panic', 'Make me'...Ah, here it is...''

''Never mind them,'' The purple haired Mazoku disregarded his fifth dimensional partners.  ''We have our own work to do.''

''I'll never help you hurt them or anyone else,'' Access stated bravely.

''Now, now, Mr. Asher,'' Xelloss smiled both cheerfully and malevolently at the same time.  ''You don't really have a choice!''

_-_-_-_-_

To Be Continued…